Somewhere like "fat ol' pussy cat" in the mirror

Wow. I heard the pop! It was loud. I am in a state of shock. I almost drowned - sinking pretty low the last few days. I starved my spirit with discordant emotions. I was suffocating myself. Yep, sado-masochism in effect. Inhale. Exhale. Searching to complete a circle with incomplete circles.

Is this what’s is like to be a woman who hasn’t been alone for over 10 years? New-found freedom is not easy to adjust to. I’m a raving fire of emotions. Instead of putting out the fire I chunked in the pig fat like spare change! Dreams to remember. "Keep the Fire Going" So, "Play with Fire and You’ll get Burnt" Ahhh...eat it, ya fat ol’ pussy cat! Who the fuck cares?!

Falling was fun and hitting the ground broke my bones. So what?!? Reptilian-made, I’m on to the next one; one being either stepping into another pattern or moving away from them. Only time will tell.

The blood of the ancient ones (the elicit desire to reminisce Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles)...runs through my veins like the rivers runs through the Earth and the Earth is my temple and the temple is my life.

So deep...I could taste fish poop at the bottom of the ocean. That’s when the Universe gave me fins. I had to swim out of all the eff’n shit that piled up. I thought I was going to die. I thought I’d never see the light. The loop was fashioned tightly around my neck and my sight slowly faded to white as my body began to go limp and I watched in the mirror. The fuckin' mirror showed me my life.

I hit rock-bottom!! Rock-bottom is synonymous with shit-head, ass, idiot, loser, or any other maladjusted belief one administers like a "jagged-little pill". I swallowed but one can always return if they choose.

I’m not chasing after Peter Pan. I want a man. No, I want a woman. I want this woman to survive all the stories that make up her life. All the misconceptions that contribute to slowly dying. Master your mind and you master your fate!

That’s it! My mirror is my best friend. She’ll smile when I smile. She’ll frown when I frown. If I want her to be happy, I have to be happy. If I want her to cry, I’ll cry. She shows me who I really am in all the beauty of imperfection that I am.