Failed attempt to complete observations to goal.

I honestly was going to sit down and write a post that was a summary of brutally honest observations and feelings. I think I even got up to 7 really witty ones, and then I decided that I should just chill the fuck out and listen to some country music. I don't listen to country music, and feeling number 1. was that I should.

The second observation that I was going to bring up if I decided to actually do this thing, was that- Tonight, whenever I stepped outside on the rat-haven 70's Houston apartment patio that I can't maintain, I looked around my feet. I looked around my knees.... and with the only view of the sky worth your eyes.. I saw the search light lashing out in a Hollywood premier kind of dysfunction from the strip club called Penthouse down the street. She had just reopened her doors after the "Sex vs We Have Children 50 Feet From Your Front Door" hysterical chowder had shut them down for almost a year.

That was what I saw when I looked up to the left. Just happened to be on that side.

To the right, there was the prehistorically touching show of a lightning storm flashing erratically. Could have come from anywhere.. and did.

Too bad I wasn't standing on an expansive flat desert or prairie or Tundra watching this weak production of a man made light compete against .... nature... for My attention.

My late night-after-work attention.

The third thing I thought about was Johnny cash. I have been avoiding Johnny Cash since my grandmother died just over a year ago. She didn't live in this country, but she had been to Vegas. She is my "real father's" mother and I never met her face to face. I never can. God Bless.

This brought me to my 4th observation. She made it a point to tell me that my father liked Johnny Cash. Its really one of the only things I know about the man that couldn't be considered negative or vacant of material based on what everyone who knows him tells me. My conclusion with this train of thought is, there's something else.... about the lightning.

It was coming here. It wasn't passing by. It was here for me. Here for us. It wasn't interested or capable of wanting to hit or not hit this town. It just was.

Sadly, I felt bad for the storm. I wondered if all of our fucked up and hateful politics HAD actually changed her course, and now she was this rolling and grieving and powerful .. reality.

At this point I tried to remember the lyrics and music to "A boy named sue" by Johnny Cash and was annoyed with myself that I was so ignorant that I couldn't remember anything.

My 5th sort of came when I realized that a Monsoon was here.

About twenty minutes ago, I noticed that the Gentlemen's club was no longer hitting the sky over my home with high powered search lights. All that was lashing out then was the storm.

While outside under the 6 inch eave in front of this place, as I enjoy this total Flash Flood, I notice that the lamp post in front of our hovel is one of those Jack The Ripper era jobs.

I get soaked trying to enjoy it. Seven.

I am back at this monitor hearing the sounds of something made for me. A storm from Nature. Thunderclaps that last 20 seconds. LIght shows that thrill with their unpredictability and dangerous amounts of water.

It comforts me.